Only … in … America (part 1 of ∞)

These are, I do not jest, categorized by the Jimmy Dean company as “Flapsticks.” It’s just so many kinds of wrong.

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Sticktoitiveness

Someone offered me some gum today. It was a stick of New! Wrigley’s · Extra · Fruit Sensations · Long Lasting Fruit Flavor · Sweet Watermelon · Sugarfree Gum. Now, aside from having a name nearly as long as the phone book, the box was roughly the shape of a phone book, in miniature:

New! Wrigley's Extra Fruit Sensations Long Lasting Fruit Flavor Sweet Watermelon Sugarfree Gum

— But that’s okay. Not a problem. Not where I’m going today —

 

Knowledge, A Little

With apologies to Emily Letilla, I’d like to caution everyone about not being fully engaged with current events. In my opinion it’s fine to be either totally ignorant or completely apprised of what’s going on in the world. It’s the middle ground, that notorious ‘little bit of knowledge’ that provides occasion for danger.

 

Nosy is as nosy does

If other websites proffered update questions like twitter and facebook…

	twitter	“What are you doing?”
	facebook	“What’s on your mind?” (was “What are you doing right now?”)

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Frost/Nixon Rural/Puerile – an odd visit to Britain

“No Snickering: That Road Sign Means Something Else” is currently the most e-mailed article at The New York Times website. But just in case your internet browser is under a rock, I’m highlighting and linking to it here at pannaceaeae because grownups (who may have outgrown the cartoons on television ) still like to see something silly on Saturday mornings.

 

Contraction Distraction

Don’t have much time to write this, but I suspect everyone would appreciate it if I posted something else so little noosey kitten isn’t the first thing confronting you upon arrival.

So once again it’s time for a grammar peeve. This one is personal. Much as I mentally kicked myself as a teenager every time I gratuitously said “like” or “you know,” nowadays I commit a verbal faux pas that really irks me (although I wouldn’t be surprised if no one else notices it). Here it is:

I try to avoid using the contraction of “it is” followed by the word “not” because it sounds like I’m saying “snot.” Now, I’m not much of a prude, but if I’m going to say “snot” I’ll say it when I damn well intend to. In this particular case it’s just as easy to transfer the contraction from “it is” to “is not” and I am diligently trying to train my mind to say “it isn’t.” Another possibility is to invent a new contraction: “it’sn’t” which is kind of funky but I doubt it’ll catch on as it sounds too similar to “isn’t.”

Next: The Mystery of Snu.

 

Politicking, Styxling

I generally don’t get involved with politics, but it seems as if the entire world is currently saturated with news and updates of the endless U.S. Presidential campaign / election / potential annunciation. Somehow it combined and evolved within my head into a bizarre hybrid political rhetoric earworm, which I fear I can only expunge through a blog posting:

Pieces of Eight Two Thousand and Eight