These are, I do not jest, categorized by the Jimmy Dean company as “Flapsticks.” It’s just so many kinds of wrong.
Things Not to Step In
07 Jun 2009 Sun
07 May 2009 Thu
Someone offered me some gum today. It was a stick of New! Wrigley’s · Extra · Fruit Sensations · Long Lasting Fruit Flavor · Sweet Watermelon · Sugarfree Gum. Now, aside from having a name nearly as long as the phone book, the box was roughly the shape of a phone book, in miniature:
— But that’s okay. Not a problem. Not where I’m going today —
13 Apr 2009 Mon
With apologies to Emily Letilla, I’d like to caution everyone about not being fully engaged with current events. In my opinion it’s fine to be either totally ignorant or completely apprised of what’s going on in the world. It’s the middle ground, that notorious ‘little bit of knowledge’ that provides occasion for danger.
24 Jan 2009 Sat
“No Snickering: That Road Sign Means Something Else” is currently the most e-mailed article at The New York Times website. But just in case your internet browser is under a rock, I’m highlighting and linking to it here at pannaceaeae because grownups (who may have outgrown the cartoons on television ) still like to see something silly on Saturday mornings.
14 Nov 2008 Fri
Don’t have much time to write this, but I suspect everyone would appreciate it if I posted something else so little noosey kitten isn’t the first thing confronting you upon arrival.
So once again it’s time for a grammar peeve. This one is personal. Much as I mentally kicked myself as a teenager every time I gratuitously said “like” or “you know,” nowadays I commit a verbal faux pas that really irks me (although I wouldn’t be surprised if no one else notices it). Here it is:
I try to avoid using the contraction of “it is” followed by the word “not” because it sounds like I’m saying “snot.” Now, I’m not much of a prude, but if I’m going to say “snot” I’ll say it when I damn well intend to. In this particular case it’s just as easy to transfer the contraction from “it is” to “is not” and I am diligently trying to train my mind to say “it isn’t.” Another possibility is to invent a new contraction: “it’sn’t” which is kind of funky but I doubt it’ll catch on as it sounds too similar to “isn’t.”
Next: The Mystery of Snu.
27 Sep 2008 Sat
I generally don’t get involved with politics, but it seems as if the entire world is currently saturated with news and updates of the endless U.S. Presidential campaign / election / potential annunciation. Somehow it combined and evolved within my head into a bizarre hybrid political rhetoric earworm, which I fear I can only expunge through a blog posting: