Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
Et cetera, et cetera

I found myself with a vocabular deficit just now. Having arrived home at 6:30 PM yesterday evening and collapsing into a dead sleep mere minutes afterward, I discovered that I was awake and distressingly perky at 2:00 AM, hungry as all get-out. Thus was coined DEAKFAST, a single meal between dinner and breakfast.

Everyone is familiar with brunch, and many of us have encountered linner or lupper, but those all take place during a single day. The Brits and Commonwealthers among us might quibble with the whole dinner/supper/tea phenomenon, but that’s beyond my ken. In any case, this deakfast is more unusual than those other portmanteau meals due to its straddling of conventional days, like trying to form a Q-K-A-2-3 straight. If one were generous (which I’m not), it could even be called transgressive.

My self-congratulatory mood for being clever was short-lived, however; although it doesn’t appear in Merriam-Webster’s Open Dictionary*, a quick Google search returned numerous appearances of the word, along with BRINNER. There seems to be disagreement to what it actually means, though. Some, like Homer Simpson. say it’s a snacky-type meal between dinner and breakfast; I think Taco Bell called that “Fourth Meal,” I call it “bingeing.” Some employ this other term, brinner, interchangeably with deakfast, but I think that’s a fallacy– it contravenes the temporal construction of the concept. I do, however, approve of brinner as a description of preparing traditional breakfast foodstuffs as the dinnertime meal.

*to which I’ve contributed two unique and very useful words. I unfortunately cannot identify them as they are attributed to me with my real name, which I dare not reveal here.